I can see that you already have the understanding of this condition and the inner strength to change it. You need to get help though, because this is a disease that has taken over your life. You are not alone, and I am writing this not only for you (because I doubt the reader will see my comments) but for the other women who see this letter as a mirror. If you see yourself in this letter then this is directed at you. Get help before this becomes too much, before you loose the girl you still are deep down. Dont hate your inner self and then take it out on your outer self. The emotions that drive you to over/undereat are the issue; this will only change with time and help. Talk to someone.
Me. (F,19,Vancouver.BC)
Corrissa Rodriguez on December 13, 2009
Dear Letters8,
I am truly sorry to hear that you have discovered this disease in yourself. I too, know how it feels to hate yourself and what you see in the mirror. When I was younger I would skip meals at school, and as soon as I got home and I knew no one was around I would tear through the refrigerator as if I had never eaten in my life. I hated everything about me, from my skin to my shape. I hated that I had curves. I hated that my pants weren’t in junior miss sizes anymore. It seemed that every time I tried to look in the mirror and find improvements I would only leave with more flaws. I dreaded my second year of high school when wee had to take swimming for fear of other girls seeing me in a bathing suit and KNOWING that they would talk about me or tell everyone how fat I was. Now that I look back at it I was silly and I was skinnier then I am now. I still have problems with my image, and I am trying to get better. I try to believe my boyfriend when he says I’m beautiful. I even found something that I like about myself; my eyes. Whenever I go in front of the mirror I try to focus on the little things I have improved, and try to find healthier things to do to improve the rest. I still think I need some sort of counseling, a serious workout plan to get me back into a healthy shape, and a better diet, but I’m working with what I have now. I think maybe if you tried to talk to someone that isn’t in your family, they could probably help more. I have learned that strangers sometimes know you better than your family, and they aren’t bias. I really hope you get the help you need. I also hope you learn to like food again and maybe someday love it. It isn’t all that bad, at least if you’re eating the right stuff. Good luck with everything, and I hope you find someone out there who will understand and not judge.
Sincerely,
C. Rodriguez
Ali on February 7, 2010
I’m truly sorry you feel that way about your body.
I can empathize, though. I, too, am a college student and suffer with the same tug-of-war you have going with your body image. I understand your yearning for someone to acknowledge your eating disorder. Your yearning for someone to reach out and take the time to understand. I, too, feel the same. However, when my parents finally did reach out and try to help me, I withdrew into myself and became angry and uncooperative.
It’s hard to change habits you’ve grown so fond of, especially concerning your body. You need to ask yourself if you want to heal from your eating disorder. No one can make you change, that responsibility and right belongs solely with you. You need to ask yourself if you are ready to change and heal. Only when you are ready and willing will you be able to come out of your disorder.
Good luck with your journey, and remember that you have others fighting the battle with you.
Amazing “Dear Body” Video by Ally Marks: A few months ago, I received an email from a girl named Ally Marks.
Ally ... http://bit.ly/an2ou0 [letterstomybody]
Discussion: Childhood and Disordered Eating: For today’s reader contribution post, we’re taking a break from the s... http://bit.ly/98B4Oo [letterstomybody]
Exposed!: In case anyone has not yet heard of it, The Exposed Movement was started by Mish on her blog, Eating Jou... http://bit.ly/aZjzIs [letterstomybody]
Send your own anonymous letter:
Katie on November 25, 2009
I can see that you already have the understanding of this condition and the inner strength to change it. You need to get help though, because this is a disease that has taken over your life. You are not alone, and I am writing this not only for you (because I doubt the reader will see my comments) but for the other women who see this letter as a mirror. If you see yourself in this letter then this is directed at you. Get help before this becomes too much, before you loose the girl you still are deep down. Dont hate your inner self and then take it out on your outer self. The emotions that drive you to over/undereat are the issue; this will only change with time and help. Talk to someone.
Me. (F,19,Vancouver.BC)
Corrissa Rodriguez on December 13, 2009
Dear Letters8,
I am truly sorry to hear that you have discovered this disease in yourself. I too, know how it feels to hate yourself and what you see in the mirror. When I was younger I would skip meals at school, and as soon as I got home and I knew no one was around I would tear through the refrigerator as if I had never eaten in my life. I hated everything about me, from my skin to my shape. I hated that I had curves. I hated that my pants weren’t in junior miss sizes anymore. It seemed that every time I tried to look in the mirror and find improvements I would only leave with more flaws. I dreaded my second year of high school when wee had to take swimming for fear of other girls seeing me in a bathing suit and KNOWING that they would talk about me or tell everyone how fat I was. Now that I look back at it I was silly and I was skinnier then I am now. I still have problems with my image, and I am trying to get better. I try to believe my boyfriend when he says I’m beautiful. I even found something that I like about myself; my eyes. Whenever I go in front of the mirror I try to focus on the little things I have improved, and try to find healthier things to do to improve the rest. I still think I need some sort of counseling, a serious workout plan to get me back into a healthy shape, and a better diet, but I’m working with what I have now. I think maybe if you tried to talk to someone that isn’t in your family, they could probably help more. I have learned that strangers sometimes know you better than your family, and they aren’t bias. I really hope you get the help you need. I also hope you learn to like food again and maybe someday love it. It isn’t all that bad, at least if you’re eating the right stuff. Good luck with everything, and I hope you find someone out there who will understand and not judge.
Sincerely,
C. Rodriguez
Ali on February 7, 2010
I’m truly sorry you feel that way about your body.
I can empathize, though. I, too, am a college student and suffer with the same tug-of-war you have going with your body image. I understand your yearning for someone to acknowledge your eating disorder. Your yearning for someone to reach out and take the time to understand. I, too, feel the same. However, when my parents finally did reach out and try to help me, I withdrew into myself and became angry and uncooperative.
It’s hard to change habits you’ve grown so fond of, especially concerning your body. You need to ask yourself if you want to heal from your eating disorder. No one can make you change, that responsibility and right belongs solely with you. You need to ask yourself if you are ready to change and heal. Only when you are ready and willing will you be able to come out of your disorder.
Good luck with your journey, and remember that you have others fighting the battle with you.
-Ali